The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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