she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
