sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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