Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
