I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
