I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I will be naked everywhere
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
