Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
