Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
