she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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