upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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