I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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