i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
