just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
