you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
handjob tips. give me some.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
