Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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