counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
