In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
