It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
