I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
