Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
