I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
