i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
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