So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That accounts for only three of the penises
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
