I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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