i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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