I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
