end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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