so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
