Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
