remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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