You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
