wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
