It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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