The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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