David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
