In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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