Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
