I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
