He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
