I must be too annoying 4 u.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm sobbing to NWA
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
