No subtext here. People are naked.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
