It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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