So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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