first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
