Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
