recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
