For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
