i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
