What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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