Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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