you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My Sexting was not on an AP level
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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