So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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